Be safe during the Hungry Ghost Month

Hungry Ghost Month Festival

This year, the Hungry Ghost Month is from August 17 to September 15. According to Chinese culture, it is during this time of the year when the Gates of the Spirit, both from Heaven and Hell, open up and release spirits to freely roam the Earth.

From wofs.com, “the day of the Hungry Ghost, which falls on the 15th night of the 7th month, is when the gates of Heaven and Hell is opened up completely, releasing billions of spirits to freely visit those in the human realm.”

It is also said that these spirits may do some mischief during this period. Others even view this month as dangerous and can cause great misfortune especially for those whose chi energy is low or experiencing bad luck. In response, most Chinese and feng shui practitioners “spend the month offering rituals and feasts to appease these spirits.”

To ward off the negativity brought by the Hungry Ghost Month, please these simple rules:
Do not swim at night.
Do not go out late at night.
Do not start construction of any structure.
Do not get married.
Do not buy a home.
Do not start a new business.
Do not move into a new home.
Avoid too much travel.
Avoid medical procedures.

It is also advised to wear bright colors during this month to invite more yang energy. Somber colors represent the yin energy.

Re-engineering Reproductive Healthcare for Mother and Child

The heated discourse over the Reproductive Health bill has divided the nation. While the Philippine government institutions, women’s groups and other concerned organizations pushes for legislation, the opposition lead by the Catholic Bishop Conference of the Philippines campaigns for the junking of the said bill.

The Reproductive Health bill, popularly known as the RH Bill, is a Philippine bill aimed at providing maternal care and universal access to methods and information on birth control.

The RH bill contains provisions addressing issues like maternal and child health, dispensing widespread information and distribution of family planning devices such as birth control pills and IUDs through health care centers, sex education and population control.

According to the National Anti-Poverty Commission undersecretary Florencia Dorotan, the Philippines is the “lone Asian country with no consistent population control.” Dorotan also said that overpopulation has led to the country’s “weaker economy compared to other Asian counterparts.”

Filipino women comprise half of the country’s population and their current situation is quite alarming. According to the Department of Health, maternal mortality rate is high with eleven mothers dying of childbirth and pregnancy-related complications every day. In the 2006, Family Planning Survey of the National Statistics Office showed that maternal mortality rate was recorded at 162 deaths per 100,000 live births, with postpartum hemorrhage, hypertension, and other complications during pregnancy or childbirth as leading causes of maternal deaths.

Infant mortality shares the same trend with seven out of ten infant deaths occur at birth or within a day of delivery.

The National Demographic Health Survey indicated that women at the lowest economic bracket tend to have not only the highest number of children but also the greatest difficulty in accessing reproductive health and family planning services.

RH bill advocates merit the RH bill for providing women the freedom to exercise their right to full access to health care services and family planning programs. Though admittedly, Gabriela Women’s Party says that the HB 4244 is far from perfect. However, the bill “can potentially bring much needed relief to poverty-stricken women and their families by ensuring full access to reproductive health services.”

The Philippine government, as primary duty-bearer, is obliged to provide all means to help women, men and couples, especially among the poor, plan the number and spacing of their children at the same time provide for education and jobs.

President Benigno S. Aquino III said that he is committed to seeing the Responsible Parenthood bill passed into law.

The great debate from the church sector stems from key provisions on taxes funding the distribution of family planning devices that are abortifacients and carcinogenic and information dissemination through all health care centers and school systems to control the population growth.

Alliance for the Family Foundation Philippines, Inc. contends that birth control promotes the “undesirable outcome of depopulation” as seen in many developed countries. On formal sex education, the foundation said that the bill “undermines the right of parents to be the primary educators” and the “right of spouses to found a family in accordance with their religious convictions and the demands of responsible parenthood.”

For the alliance, “poverty and hunger is not caused nor aggravated by overpopulation, but by the wrong economic policies, poor governance and systematic corruption.”

Church leaders and priests have been outspoken on their stand on the RH bill, taking the issue from the pulpit to the streets. Some preachers even tell parishioners that supporting the RH bill is a “serious sin” and may merit excommunication. Others pronounced that supporters of the RH bill are those that are having marital problems.

Notwithstanding the misgivings of some provisions, the RH bill stands as a landmark bill for women’s rights. In principle, women should have the right to their own bodies and the State should protect and uphold that right. Even women OFWs, should be given the access to health support services and information to make the right choices.

The RH bill is forward-looking as it primarily addresses women’s right to reproductive health. RH opposition groups may have brought up valid points for further study and refinement of the bill, however, they have noticeably failed to put up front alternatives that may liberate Filipino women from social injustice, inequality and poverty.

Filipino women, at the center of the discourse, will bear the brunt of whatever result will be coming from Congress deliberations. After 17 years after the first RH bill was filed, lawmakers, RH advocates and opposition groups should then look no further and ask for the answers from women.

Tagged to a Tinikling

I knew she would zero in on me. I was alone at the table. She took out her hand in invitation and asked me if I wanted to try to dance the Tinikling involving bamboo poles beating, tapping and sliding as dancers jump rhythmically and in coordination.

What was I thinking? Going up stage at the Maynila Ballroom and trying to get around bamboo poles?

At first, I shook my head but I knew the battle was already lost. I finally got the nerve to stand up, walked to the stage, tightened my shoelaces and prayed for dear life. My lola would have reminded not to jump or dance right after a big meal, but obviously the situation insisted for it.

I was lucky enough to be invited to Kultura Fashionista last September 3 at the Manila Hotel. Kultura Fashionista lucheon show was conceptualized to be a “terpsichorean frolic through food and fashion.”

The buffet I sampled featured Filipino dishes and desserts usually one can find at the fiesta spread albeit the inclusion of pinakbet and absence of a roasted pig or lechon. Familiar flavors of lechong kawali, rellenong bangus and beef caldereta with steamed rice went well with desserts of fresh fruits and buko salad.

Two hours down with lunch that was served at 11 a.m., the show immediately opened with the Dance of the Malongs. The rhythmic movements of the women displayed the functional possibilities of the colorful malongs. I missed the men’s counterpart of the dance, instead, the men performed the Burong Talo – a martial arts dance from the Tausog that mimics a fight between a hawk and a cat.

This was followed by a similar dance also from the Tausogs. The Magigal/Hapatong involves male dancers men with bamboo poles and graceful women adorned with Janggays or metal fingernails reminiscent of vintas (boats) and birds.

The Visayan number featured the Lanceros de Negros; a popular quadrille dance during the Spanish era, Sutido; a dance mix of Spanish, Mexican and French influences with indigenous elements, and the
Pasodoble; a dance celebrating the flirtation between the sexes.

Heading the dances from the island of Luzon is the Chalichok, a Kalinga dance imitating birds flying and is performed on happy occasions like a first-born childbirth, a wedding or a peace pact. Then came the Karatong dance from the western provinces that heralds the blossoming of the Mango Trees performed to the lively, syncopated beats of the Karatong, a percussion instrument.

The dances were performed by the Sindao Dance Theater Company of Randy Guevara, a ward of National Artist for Dance Ramon Obusan.

In between performances, couture creations inspired from the three major regions of the country were featured in a fashion show. The Mindanao collection were colorful yet elegant. The pieces with the Visayan theme were more structured with defined silhouettes while the Luzon outfits were suited for garden parties and weddings. The ensemble were courtesy of Fashion Designers Association of the Philippines. Lito Perez, Edgar San Diego Richard Papa, Delby Bragais and Edgar Madamba contributed their individual works for the ensemble.

The Tinikling capped the show and some people from the audience, like me, were asked to dance. The jumping routine that could have trapped my foot was exhilarating and left me nostalgic. I was instantly transported back to grade school when class hours were spent practicing folk dances like the Itik-Itik, Pandango sa Ilaw, Kuratsa and many more. This was before history, music and physical education were rolled into a single subject.

I must admit I immensely enjoy learning all the moves and routines of our folk dances. The dances and music introduced to my psyche the different regional customs and valuable cultural insights that are integral to our unique Filipino identity. Over time, these were buried deep in my consciousness and the revisit could have not been more timely amidst all the negativity brought by the Quirino hostage-taking incident. Lifting me from my doldrums, I was once reminded of the many Filipino traits we should be proud of.

Kultura Fashionista was under the direction of Freddie Santos with choreography by Randy Guevara. The Maynila Ballroom is located at the Manila Hotel in Roxas Boulevard.

Unsolicited

His message simply said, “love u”.

Now, I know how it feels like being hit on as a married woman.

I was stumped, completely confused on how to react. He was my friend and thought he regarded me as one too but his single line abruptly changed perceptions.

It is different when a single, young man comes up to you and flirts because he thought you were available. May kilig doon.
To a stretch, it is flattering and jolts up your self-esteem. After that, you reveal your status and that is the end of it.

This one, however, raises too many questions, possibilities and assumptions because you know you are very much tied up just like he is. And the timing could have not been more worse.

Nose clogged, temples throbbing and sneezing all over the place, I was really not up to it to respond to this at all. So up to now, I choose to ignore any of his attempts to communicate.

Feeling betrayed, I choose silence as my weapon and protection.

I know someday I would have to take his call, reply to his chat messages and face up to him but for now, I am not simply interested.

Bruises and pink lipstick: when a battered woman asks for help

When statistics becomes a reality, you are confronted with a shocking truth that wife or girlfriend battering can happen closer to home.

I was privy that their marriage was on the rocks. The fateful day came with a phone call and with hushed tones, a plea for an escape.

“We will talk later. Come here right away,” was my response. Conscious not to burden her unnecessarily by detailing her pain, I immediately opened my door – no questions asked.

After an hour so, she came with a bag of clothes, almost broke and with a tattered spirit. The bruises on her arms, sides and back were telltale signs of her ordeal.

Since it was close to midnight, I sought to make her comfortable as possible so she can finally rest.

She woke up with dark circles in her eyes. Her predicament not really dawning on her yet, she failed to answer when asked, “What is your plan?”

It was time to step-in. Not only because I was a member of the women’s movement then but my exposure to women’s concerns had taught me a thing or two about handling such critical times.

Not relenting to let her heal the wounds on her own, we surrendered her violent encounter from the man who vowed to take care of her till death they may part to the authorities.

Nakakahiya, nakakainis, nakakalungkot at nakapaglulumo ang pinagdaanan namin. (We went thru an embarrasing, irritating and emotionally-draining experience.) Painful but necessary we sought to document all the transgressions made by the husband.

By the end of the day, my unlikely visitor of circumstance became a part of statistic. One that will haunt women who may someday play the part of a victim on any given time and day.

Years passed and with the finality of annulment, husband and wife now live separately with their respective families. Looking back, we were glad we did what we had to do on that day because the legal documents produced then were duly weighed and consequently, was recognized by the courts. Now, all that made sense.

From my experience, here are several ways to help a battered woman immediately right after a beating incident:

1.Make sure that the victim is out of harm’s way. Seek temporary shelter from a crisis center or a household accomodating enough for the time being.
2.Bring her to government hospitals and let medical practitioners treat her cuts and bruises. Make sure to request for a medico-legal report because this is a requirement for the next step.
3.Go to authorities (barangay hall or local precinct nearest to the couple’s official residence or where the deed took place) and have the incident logged in their books. You are entitled to a copy of the report.
4.Be very specific with your request and do not leave without a copy of the documents.
5.Seek legal counsel from para-legal advisers or lawyers immediately.

For those who are interested to help in their own little way, Mary Kay Philippines thru its CSR campaign, “Beauty That Counts”, is selling crème lipstick in Inspiration Pink. When you buy this lipstick, a dollar (Php 45) would be donated to the Welcome House of Good Shepherd, a non-profit charitable institution that provides a crisis intervention center and temporary shelter for women and young ladies who have experienced abuse and other forms of violence.

Last year, approximately Php 70,000 was donated by Mary Kay for the repair of the crisis center’s gutter damaged by typhoon Ondoy. The company also supports efforts to teach women-victims livelihood skills such as doll-making, cake-decorating, pizza-making and bracelet-making.

On its packaging, you can find “Thank You” written in 13 different languages – a unique way of extending warm appreciation from our sisters in crisis.

Blogging maiden: And the dream floats away

Today I gave up on a dream of flying high in the clouds, and leaving the to-do list for the things I want to do.

Today I gave up on a dream of white sand beaches, and star-lit nights with soft waves as lullaby.

Today I gave up on a dream of dozing-off during mid-day and playing for sheer fun with laughter as sole agenda.

Yes, I gave up a dream of freely being me for a while.

Yes, folks, I did aim high and I did not fall down. I only got stuck for the dream never really took off.

High school Reunion: P.S. for the Homecoming

We woke up with a mystery.

The air conditioning unit was working when it suddenly ceased to. We asked one another who may have turned it off but no one admitted to the deed. Leaving the question up in the air we were then greeted by a barrage of texts from Kenneth and Maveth.

On separate messages, both requested we meet up in town before we go on our separate ways. It is then we received a word from Flory that he and his family already went ahead to their next destination.

Prompted by our growling tummies, we drove to Chowking and had breakfast. We were later joined by Maveth, Eric and their two kids. Kenneth with Roger in tow arrived shortly.

After sharing the evening’s accomplishments, we planned the next rendezvous for the girls in Metro Manila. Initially, Teena, Nona and me are all set with the possibility of Liezl, Ruby and Mabeth joining the group either on the 12th or the 14th of June. We then drove Teena back to the resort and us to reality.

Fulfilled with the turn of events and high with good company, we had high hopes for the grand reunion come January 2012. It is time to come full circle with this part of our lives and we should do so together for happier times.

Want to know what happened earlier? Please go to https://carlassocialrealism.wordpress.com/2010/06/07/homecoming-of-ten/

High school Reunion: Homecoming of Eleven

Last weekend was one of our most memorable event since we were together and threw our togas in the air as the shouts of “Congratulations, graduates!” filled our ears.

The mini reunion (the first and hoped to be not the last) was scheduled months ago when one of our classmates (thanks, Gloria!) finally had the inkling to open up a FB page for our high school batch and members clamored for it.

Looking for a reason to get out of the city and longing to be with long-time friends, I had every reason to go.

As the day drew near, some of those who initially were committed to go (you know who you are), were suddenly backing out for one reason or another as we were left to around six attendees. Admittedly, I also thought of making up some lame excuse to excuse myself but, hey, since I am comfortable with every one whose going to show up, I might as well go and be happy about it.

The day started early because Nona wanted us to be on the road by 6 a.m. Dragging my overnight bag, we were off and gabbing all the way to Lemery.

We made a short side trip to Mabeth’s by 9 am. Not really planning to go but feeling guilty after we unceremoniously parked outside her house, she requested to have her picked-up before noon although she was not feeling well.

After a power breakfast at Nona’s home, we waited for others to show up at Kuboyana. Luckily, Kenneth passed by and promised to be there at the resort later on. Past 11 a.m., we were joined by Teena, Flory and Baby. Since it was too hot at the small diner, we opted to head back at Nona’s place where lunch was served.

Mabeth called to backed out once again due to her condition. Obviously, we were disappointed but were undeterred to let this turn us down for the day. Judith came with all smiles and boxes of pastillas.

Over lunch, we feasted on each other’s tales, jokes and latest chismax on those who were not with us. Surprisingly, Mrs. Malabanan showed up with her daughter to seek some assistance from Nona. True to form as a teacher, she asked us one by one about our respective families. We all felt like we were being asked to recite during class all over again! After the surprise visit, we once again laughing our heads off.

Time do fly when you’re having fun. Around mid-afternoon, Baby had to say goodbye because her sister-in-law is having a baby and the family wanted her to be there. She promised to return later at the resort. This is when we posted the first batch of photos to the envy of those who were waiting online on Facebook.

We were about to head to the resort when we could not resist making a stop at St. Mary’s.

Manong Bert was our second surprise. Who would not be? Nobody expected him to be there after all this time but there he is looking very similar like in the old days.

We were thrilled to step inside the campus and made the rounds at the new buildings. Suffice it to say, big developments came and erased every vestige of our favored memories at SMEI save for the rooms we used to inhabit during our senior year. Nevertheless, we were happy to see these changes that we claim we somehow had contributed to.

Word came to us that Regie was already at the resort so hurried on to meet up with him without Nona and Teena who volunteered to pick up dinner.

It took awhile to recognize each other’s faces but the banter started immediately. Regie came with Michael Marasigan and Raul de Claro, Jr. Sadly, Judith had to go by early evening ’cause she was not set to spend the night. All the while I was busy texting Mabeth because she was bugging me for details. Apparently, she was also texting Nona for the same thing!

Before the hour passed, Nona and Teena came with the food and the grilling started. Baby was a no-show at the resort but by this time, Kenneth was already there after taking a shower and cooking dinner for this family according to him!

Somebody was able to contact Noah and by golly, she did came! This was the third surprise of the day! All were happy for the turn out of this unexpected guest that some exclaimed, “Mabuti pa ‘yung hindi inaasahang dumating, nakarating!”

Over slices of pizza, Noah touched base with everyone. Calls were made to Ruby and Mabeth who were aching to be there by this time. After the short visit, Noah had to say goodbye and proceeded to the nearby resort where her family were staying. The second batch of photos were posted then while I wrote the captions that tried to capture the moments.

Wine poured and the grill crackled with tilapia and liempo. After dinner, we got down to business and made initial arrangements for the grand reunion next year. Over tons of laughter, we did came up with a decent plan and promised to do the best we can with each other’s commitments.

By past 12, the men (except for Flory who brought along the family with him) had to go with some excuse that we readily accepted since we had our fill of the day (or so we thought). The last batch of photos were uploaded and the first online comments were shared.

Teena and Nona went off to stroll at the beach after I have turned down the invitation out of pure fatigue from the day’s fun. With a light heart, I settled down at the edge of the bed and tried to catch some z’s. All along I thought that had been the happy end of the mini reunion but the morning after pulled its own bag of surprises adding to the homecoming of eleven.

Want to know what happened the morning after? Please go to https://carlassocialrealism.wordpress.com/2010/06/10/p-s-for-the-homecoming/ ‎

Family we once were

One Easter Sunday

One of my happiest memories was when the whole family celebrated Easter Sunday at the seashore. Im not sure what year it was but this occasion I remember well. We usually mark the event by going to church and have a family luncheon at home but not on that day.

We were already up before the sun did. I’m guessing it was about 4 am. With sandwiches, hot drinks and swimming wear in tow, the family started off the long ride on a tricycle. I was quite familiar with the surrounding area but this time I could not tell where we are going because it was quite dark. Swimming at the beach was a common thing for us, since we live just by it, but today I was exceptionally excited. We went to a spot at the beach so remote that only a
handful of nipa huts were there. I almost felt that we had the place for
ourselves.

We were so eager to jump in the water that we quickly changed into our swimming clothes. But, Tatay (father) made us remember the day and the reason why we were there. He pulled us in a circle over our food and stuff and prayed. It was a very long and solemn prayer. I was kind of relieved when it was over. I was excited and happy and, decidedly, would like to celebrate the day like that. Accordingly, my Sunday school teacher taught us that this is one of the happiest days of christendom, the day of the risen Christ.

We swam to our hearts’ content. Once we got hungry, we chowed down sandwiches, hotdogs and hot chocolate. Our chosen spot was extra special since this is where the sea and river meet. We have always wondered where the river would end up and this day gave us the answer. It was very interesting to see two types of water mingle and mix. One was bland and the other was salty. I think it was Kuya (older brother) and Tatay who caught some water beetles. Somebody came up with a tin can and we placed the water bettles inside with a little water. Now, we were told that they can be eaten so we can bring them home. It was the first time I saw such creatures. I was fascinated and at the sometime sorry for them since later, well, they are dinner.

As the sun went up so did the tide. We swam until everybody got tired and hot. Nobody spoke during the ride home and eventually, everybody found their spot at home and spent the afternoon napping. As for our catch of the day, we boiled them with a dash of salt and a piece of ginger and ate them. They were pretty tasty for bugs.